and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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