Kareoke will never be a sober sport
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
