i just google imaged poop.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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