You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
