I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
