he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
