This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
