Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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