Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
