Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
