You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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