Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
