He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
All the doctor said was why
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize