Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's just like the Real World with babies
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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