He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
