Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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