i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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