Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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