I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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