But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
