you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
