sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There's always time for handjobs
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
