two words: eviction party
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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