I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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