Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize