We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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