I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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