I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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