It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
