the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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