Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
