Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
