How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
