She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just invented taco cereal.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
