You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
