i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse