So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
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define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .