if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You're a waste of cheezeits
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.