we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
