He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
