The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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