i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
