Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
