Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
