There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize