UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
