no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
wow bdsm is so cute
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
