Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
