What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
