I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
