He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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