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So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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