I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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