I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
