dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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