I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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