I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
