sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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