Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
