I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It was a blind-side dick pic.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
