Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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