He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize