Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
