I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize