Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
