I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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