im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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