well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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