why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
