ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
