I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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