dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
