you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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