i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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